999,872: Iron Maiden - Quest for Fire

Iron Maiden fans take their Iron Maiden very seriously. Very, very seriously. Any affront to the awesomeness of Iron Maiden is greeted with vitriolic disdain. That especially includes affronts coming from the band itself. Gods may not act as mere mortals.

There are those who will tell you that the whole Maiden concept of “thinking man’s metal” teeters on the edge of ridiculousness far more than their fans will admit. After all, we are talking about a band prone to writing grandiose, operatic adaptations of their favorite books and/or World War II battles. A band that dwells in a virtually sexless realm, where even their recurring prostitute character Charlotte the Harlot is treated more like a dramatic lead than a sex object, and where the concept of groove is virtually nonexistent – the music never aims to evoke sex, and the busy, “intellectual” bass playing of Steve Harris ensures that the rhythm section will never just lay back and relax. (Not coincidentally, this approach mirrors the percentage of women usually found at Iron Maiden concerts.) Now, those people are wrong, because Iron Maiden is objectively awesome. But they will tell you that nonetheless.

Essentially, Iron Maiden is revered for always trying to go bigger -- whether that means smarter, faster, more complicated, more gloriously epic, or any number of other superlatives. Ambition has always been a key component of Maiden’s identity. And even when you’re good at it, it’s hard to go big and succeed every time out. Your lyrical subject matter always has to support the epic themes your music tries to evoke. Your melodies have to support the huge, operatic delivery of your vocalist. If you’re constantly aiming for the stars, sometimes you’re going to fall short and not make it out of the Earth’s upper atmosphere. (For more on this theme, see Iron Maiden’s “Flight of Icarus.”)

The Piece of Mind track “Quest for Fire” is the object of many a Maiden fan’s derision. Of all the songs from the band’s early-‘80s glory days, it’s the one that most clearly crosses the line into silliness. Most of the album’s other songs are about mythology and war, subjects that lend themselves to epic drama; “Quest for Fire” is about cavemen who live with dinosaurs. Most of the other songs have soaring, anthemic melodies; the tune of “Quest for Fire” sounds stiff and underdeveloped. Even for the most obsessive Maiden fan, it’s difficult not to look askance at the stereo as soon as Bruce Dickinson starts howling “In a tiiiiiiiiiiime when dinosaurs walked the eaaaaaarth.” The song’s storyline feels as underdeveloped as the hooks; howling wolves and cannibal tribes appear without setup, and the entire quest for fire happens because all those cavemen – heroes and villains alike – don’t know they can make fire themselves by “rubbing stick and stone.” An epic narrative gets its power from pitting ultimate personifications of good and evil against each other, and it’s hard to write a convincing one about folks who could easily be saved by an 8-year-old Boy Scout.

Everything in “Quest for Fire” is writ large, but doesn’t quite deserve to be. That disconnect places the song pretty high on the unintentional comedy scale, but that’s also what makes it so entertaining. Heavy metal need not be taken seriously to be enjoyable, despite what some metal diehards believe. They are the people who usually have a chip on their shoulder about the lack of critical respect afforded their music of choice, and while they have a legitimate point, it’s also true that silliness – intentional or not – often equals FUN. What, in the end, is wrong with putting smiles on faces? Come with me now, and let us regaaaaaaain the power of light and heeeeeeat. And remember that life is still worthwhile…if you just smile.

Quest For Fire - Iron Maiden