999,855: Kutiman — The Mother of All Funk Chords

If humanity's present course goes pretty much as I assume it will, then future archeologists are going to be especially busy unearthing artifacts from my lifetime in order to solve the puzzle of how exactly we came to be ruled by a malicious oligarchy of collection agency robo-callers, cell phone companies, basic cable providers, and virility medication manufacturers. Whether Kutiman's "The Mother of All Funk Chords" helps these scientists explain our self-inflicted ruin is anyone's guess, but they will undoubtedly recognize its appearance on YouTube as the moment somebody actually figured out the real, divinely-guided purpose of the internet.

For years, individual musicians had been videographing themselves in poor light noodling on or otherwise demonstrating their instruments, practicing for recitals, singing, rhyming, and giving instruction, and then uploading the results onto the world wide web, all to no apparent purpose whatsoever. Aside from the occasional commenter proclaiming any given clip's GaYNEZZ, no one watched these videos nor understood why they existed. One doubts that the performers themselves understood it, except that they were compelled by an unseen force to engage in what my be called, absent the light of understanding, baldly narcissistic behavior.

Then, in 2009, a semi-known and completely funky Israeli beat maker received the holy word of our deity, Halachbar the Invincible, whose instructions were clear: collect these far-flung and unconnected musical outbursts and weave them together so that the ineffable Word of Mighty Halachbar may be revealed to His children. Kutiman called the project ThruYou, and "The Mother of All Funk Chords", combining the efforts of twenty two percussionists, guitarists, brass and theremin players (plus a blues harpist/vocalist) of incredibly varied ages and backgrounds, is its perfect expression.

None yet know the full scope of Halachbar's motives (may they be ever inscrutable), but one imagines He wanted to spread a message of love, that we are all sublimely linked to each other in subtle ways and will ultimately attain truth and understanding through cooperative sweetness. Either that, or this is somehow paving the way for the ruthless age of dictatorial Spamlords who will mold our society on one interrupted viewing of Demolition Man. Either way it's Goddamn amazing.